The Talk
by fortheloveofcamelot
Summary: There comes a time in every warlock's life where he needs to be told... where babies come from!


_Disclaimer: Merlin belongs to the BBC - much to the relief of my co-writers, because if I was running things, things would be running... _

**H****owdy! Simona here, from 'fortheloveofcamelot', with her first debut fic (eeeek!)**

**Anyway, I can't remember how this idea came to me (it was definently not a dream...) but I do remember that I wrote out the first draft on toilet paper - before you ask, no, there was no shortage of paper in my house, I just happened to be in the bathroom...**

**So anyway... enjoy! **

THE TALK

Merlin walked out of his small, closet-like chamber, finding Gaius preparing some kind of herby concoction. The whole room was as disorganised as ever, dusty book after dusty book lay on the tables, some open, others slowly decaying. Gaius seemed to be grinding something in his mortar leisurely.

"Morning", he cheerily greeted his uncle. He was just about to walk out the door, when Gaius finally spoke.

"Ah, Merlin, before you go..." he started but was interrupted by his nephew.

"I'm not that hungry this morning Gaius but I promise to have something later" he vowed.

"Oh no, it's not _that_ Merlin" Gaius sighed.

"Oh… did you want something from the market, then?" he flushed.

"No… it's not that either" his uncle sighed once more, placing his mortar and pestle down on the workbench.

"What's wrong?" Merlin asked in concern.

"Oh no, nothing's wrong… but I think you should sit down" he pulled up a chair which Merlin sat upon uneasily.

"Well…" Merlin encouraged him.

"You see, Merlin, you are at that stage in your life where you might find that you are changing: physically, mentally… and emotionally…"

Merlin's face stirred in confusion. What was his Uncle getting at?

"I mean, everyone adopts a different style: some become very passionate, writing poetry or arranging moonlit walks…" He pulled a face, "But the rewards are worth it… While others, like myself, prefer to tell them straight out what we intend to do, using, what we call, "Pick Up Lines", where the subject is informed straight away of our true nature… Such as: "Now that the Great Purge is over, why don't we go back to my chambers and work on repopulation?" or one of my favourites, and this one has worked on countless occasions: "You are like a book: you add meaning to my life" but that one is mine, you'll have to think of one yourself…" Merlin just stared at him, dumbfounded. Gaius grasped that he had gone on track.

"Alas, once the so-called, err, "wooing" is over, a huge relief for most men, trust me…You might find yourself in a position… where you want to do some things… with a girl… which you had never wanted to do… to any other… before…"

"Gaius, what are you trying to say?" he asked exasperated.

"What I mean is, when a man has certain feelings for a woman, a rather powerful urge can take him over…"

Merlin finally comprehended what Gaius was telling him.

"Gaius! Are you giving me the _talk_?" he exclaimed.

"Oh, uh, maybe, sort of… yes?" he looked at him sheepishly.

Merlin turned red and held his face in his hands. He'd never been so embarrassed by his uncle.

"Why, Gaius, why?" he wailed, muffled by his hands.

"I just wanted you to be careful. Sure, it might be _fun_ at the time but there are consequences to every action…"

"I am careful! I am always careful! And my mother already gave me the _talk _ages ago so this was really unnecessary" Merlin explained firmly.

"Well… good. Uh, that was all I wanted to say…" he looked around the room uncomfortably, not meeting Merlin's eyes.

"So… what was it like?" he boldly asked him.

"What? Gaius! This is not helping…"

"Oh, right, right, sensitive subject, I get it…" He turned back to his workbench and started mincing his herbs again. Merlin speedily marched out of the room without a backwards glance, his cheeks slowly reducing to a pale pink.

* * *

Merlin knocked on Arthur's door politely before letting himself in. Arthur was perched pensively against his window, looking out onto Camelot. He turned unhurriedly to meet Merlin's eyes. His face was hard.

"Arthur, what's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

"Nothing, it's just… I need to talk to you" He stated.

"Whatever it is, you can tell me" he reassured him. Arthur smiled tightly, gesturing for him to sit down. He sat nervously as Arthur drummed his hands against the back of the chair.

"Well, Merlin, when a man has certain feelings for a woman…"

* * *

**Well, I hope you liked it! **

**Rate & Review if you want to, in the end it's up to you (hey, that rhymes..!)**

**x.x**


End file.
